precious secrets

Some days I find myself looking back. It always looks so much better than it did at the time. Looking back is rare for me, but today as I was preparing some gifts for friends back on the ship where I lived for the past year, I thought back quite fondly. It was definitely a "shiny" moment. I thought of what a Saturday in Liberia was like. It was a steamy day at the beach where I could escape all fears, troubles, and injustices from the week. I could just soak them away in the hot sun and salty waves. Coming back to the ship in the evening. Meeting for worship or hanging with friends. Feeling my face radiate from the fresh burn of that day's sun. Feeling tired but even more renewed.

Some days I miss that. And when I do, I feel like I have a really great secret. It somehow gives me a feeling of pride. It's something that I have in my memory, just for me to know. I don't have to share it with anyone. It's something that is all mine. And no one is there to burst my bubble and remind me of the hard times that came with it. Today was one of my secret days. Nobody knew. And nobody probably cared. But it was my own precious secret, just for me to indulge. I suppose our "secrets" are simply blessings. Things that we can just be thankful to God for. I really have so many. But most days I'm so caught up in the trouble and injustice that the shine of the secrets becomes shrouded in my pessimistic outlook, snuffing out all hope. I wonder if I spent more time pondering the secrets...